Phone : 01567 820 893 FAX : 01567 820 893 Email : turnermator@ukonline.co.uk WWW : http://web.ukonline.co.uk/turnermator Keith G. Robertson-Turner Inchbuie Craignavie Road Killin Perthshire FK21 8SH SCOTLAND FTAO : Digitiser@Teletext Sir/Madam, I write to complain bitterly about the violent attack on Amiga owners recently in Digitiser. I have been an Amiga owner for many years, and I am deeply insulted by the malicious and untrue assertions made in that publication. On page 171, Stuart Campbell writes : "The survey revealed via AF and CU Amiga, the perhaps not at all surprising fact that almost 68% of all Amiga owners have never had a girlfriend. Ever." After pointing out that Amiga means "Girlfriend" in Spanish, he then goes on to say : "One can only imagine that the original management of Commodore were playing a funny practical joke on all the people who would buy their computer. So little change there, then." This is outrageous. Even if the survey results are not, as I suspect, "cooked" to make some kind of frivolous point, I take great exception to the suggestion that I have been "ripped-off" by buying my Amiga. On the contrary. Having used all manner of systems, from UNIX/VAX workstations to Sinclair ZX80's and everything in between, I can say with some certainty ( based on many years experience ) that no other computer system even comes close to the ease and power of the Amiga. And yes, I have had PLENTY of girlfriends, and none of them were made in a factory ! On page 175, an unknown author writes in "GameSpotting" : GAMER TYPE 5 : AMIGA OWNER "He buys shareware because that's practically all there is to play on his Amiga, he writes his own programs, though they're rarely anything more interesting than a Spreadsheet, and he's possibly the most tedious, anally retentive individual on earth." "He so wants you to believe that the Amiga is a viable gaming platform." "A cliche, yes, but unfortunately, this archetypal computer nerd really does exist. We know this for definite." An Amiga owner's only friends are members of his coding club, and there's nothing he enjoys more than a 24 hour coding marathon." "Locked away in his bedroom for days on end, his pale complexion, poor eyesight and unkempt appearance are clues to the average Amiga owner." "He thinks multi-tasking is somehow a substitute for a catalogue of cutting-edge games. Did we mention he lacks a sense of irony ? Typical quote : 'Yes, but the PC can't multitask.'" To tackle these points one at a time : (1) ... I don't have any shareware games. All my games are commercial, and there are PLENTY of them I can assure you. Not to mention games on the horizon which will make use of the PowerPC architecture and it's associated hardware. (2) ... Yes I write my own programs because, unlike PC owners, I have the intelligence to do so. That is, after all the whole POINT of buying a computer. There are much cheaper ways of pursuing the childish activity of playing games. (3) ... If the author takes a look at Aminet now and then, he will see that Spreadsheets account for a microscopic fraction of the sowftware in the archive. (4) ... Tedious ? News to me ! Also news to the dozens of party goers who invariable come round my house every other night. (5) ... Anally Retentive ? No I am not the kind of person who becomes incensed if everything is not in it's place / as it should be. If anything, I would describe my life as 'utter chaos' at the moment. (6) ... The Amiga is, has been, and will continue to be a considerably MORE VIABLE gaming platform than the PC. The PC is, after all, fundamentally based on a prehistoric hardware/software architecture originally designed for "anal-retentives" to run their spreadsheets on. (7) ... I am neither a Cliche, nor a Nerd. I am a 29 year old offshore worker who has been known to physically dismember people for saying less insulting things to me than the authors in Digitiser. (8) ... I am not in a coding club as such, but if I were, I would be proud to count its members among my friends. At least they are the type of people who actually USE their computers once they buy them, unlike the majority of PC owners that I know - who simply buy a PC for the prestige; don't have a clue what to do with it; let it sit in the box for a month before unpacking it; unpack it then spend the best part of a year trying to get it to work properly; give up and eventually just let it sit in the spare room as a 'showpiece' statement that says ... 'look I'm clever enough to spend two grand on something useless.' (9) ... There's only two things I do in my bedroom, and neither of them has anything to do with the computer. Isn't it typical of a PC owner to associate his PC with the bedroom. Symptomatic of all those hours on www.pornbyus.com or www.xtc.com. My complexion is not pale nor am I unkempt, in fact I spend a small fortune on clothes. You must be confusing me with PC owners who, having blown all their money on something that looks like an air conditioning unit ( and serves as much use ) they have no money left for 'luxuries' like clothes. And you have the audacity to call Amiga users 'nerds'. (10) .. The Amiga multi-tasks properly. The PC doesn't. Period. There isn't really much more to say. As for us believing that the Amiga's ability to pre-emtively multitask easily is a substitute for 'cutting-edge' games, I've never heard such rubbish. The Amiga invented the concept of 'cutting-edge games', and now the best the PC can do is come up with some raytraced animations ( which were probably done on SGI's not PC's ) and slap them together and call it a game. Crap. At least Amiga games are fun, and will in the near future provide the same level of mindless '3D-ness' that every technophobic, first-time -buying, lame PC owner seems to want these days. (11) .. I do have a sense of irony, otherwise I wouldn't be able to appreciate the fact that even though the Amiga has always been fundamentally superior to the PC it has been largely ignored by the large corporations due to dubious backhander operations - ( mainly involving Intel and Microsoft ) - and the subsequent ( and equally dubious ) marketing decisions by those same corporations. This resulted in the Amiga being left at the bottom end of the market and eventually slipping away on .... I've lost count .... is it 3 occasions now ? only to rise like a Phoenix on each occasion. I think the comments made on Digitiser p175 on Sunday the 10th of August 1997 were libelous, inflammatory, and deeply insulting, and I intend taking further action with the ITC. The following is a list of names, ( with optional comments ), collected from various Amiga enthusiast around the world, who have all read this letter, and feel as strongly as I do. Name Comment Keith G. Robertson-Turner I think I've said plenty. Next ...